Swimmer Spotlight - Fiona Fairbairn
She Did It
“Swimming has always been about overcoming challenges. Swimming faster, further, in colder water, all of the aforementioned combined. From learning to swim at the age of 2, completing my first 50m at the age of 4, through to competitive swimming, surf lifesaving, masters, rescue swimmer with helicopters, lake swimming, ultra-marathon swimming, and most recently harbour swimming.”
Some backstory…
It all started at the age of two. I used to wake early, around 4 am and my Mum needed to keep me from waking the rest of the household. She would put me in the bath and sit on a chair in the bathroom doing her knitting. As long as she kept the hot water topped up I was happy for hours "swimming" in the bath.
The next phase of my swim journey was learning to swim. Don't tell me you can't learn to swim with floatie arm bands on because I certainly did. My Mum used to tell me the story of how, when she took me and my brother and sister to the pool, I would jump out of the car and jump straight into the pool. So to counteract this she would put my armbands on me before I even left home. Apparently, I was a headstrong child.
I started having lessons at the age of 4 at the local school pool. My brother and sister were already having lessons as they were older, so I was there anyway. One day the swim instructor asked if I wanted to hop in - there was no looking back. I am grateful for the foundation the lessons provided me. They were the stepping stones that allowed me to build my skills and confidence in the water, leading me on a journey that has defined so much of who I am today.
Still aged 4, on holiday in Dunedin, we visited Moana Pool. I was playing in the deep end which was well above my head. Back in those days, the rules were that you could only be in a pool that you could swim the length of. I was summoned to the lifeguard office over the loudspeaker and once there I was asked if I could swim 50m. “Of course,” I replied. I had never swum 50m before in my life but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I asked if I was allowed to do it backstroke (I hadn't mastered the breathing yet) and they said yes. So I proceeded to swim my first ever 50m albeit backstroke. This gave me so much courage and is the first memory I have of overcoming a challenge in swimming.
From that day on, swimming has been all about the challenge. The personal challenge is what swimming is for me. It is my happy place and the place I can challenge myself and learn about myself. Swimming is the place where I am always grounded. While I'm swimming, although I have lots of thoughts, I can just wash them away and not get caught up with one thought. The majority of the time I find I can be very mindful while I swim. I keep an eye on my technique, other people's technique, the view, looking for wildlife, and thinking about how the water feels on my skin.
By the age of 7, I was really getting into swimming and had completed all the levels of lessons, so I was invited to join the local swim club. This led to the start of swim training in a squad. I started competing and because I was smaller than all the other girls, I soon realised that I needed to find a different benchmark than just winning or losing, or I was going to be sorely disappointed in the outcome.
Mum was great at pushing the importance of achieving personal bests as the way of knowing if I was successful or not. I was an avid reader and I remember reading a swimming autobiography and there was a poem that really resonated with me. I soon learnt it off by heart and it became my mantra that I have used in all areas of my life since. My Dad made it into a poster and it stayed on my bedroom wall for over 10 years.
Somebody said it couldn't be done
So she with a chuckle replied,
That even if it couldn't, she would be one
Who wouldn't say so till she tried.
So she buckled right in with a trace of a grin
On her face. If she worried she hid it.
She started the thing that couldn't be done.
And what do you know she did it.
My open water swimming began at the age of 11 when I entered the Wharf-to-Wharf swim from Days Bay to Eastbourne in Wellington. I competed in all the local open water swims I could.
I followed the typical path of competitive swimming and once I stopped at the age of 19 due to shoulder and back injuries, I got into Surf Lifesaving and Masters Swimming.
Looking back I was very lucky that the town I grew up in, Wainuiomata (Lower Hutt suburb), had a big outdoor pool complex which included a 50m pool. This was the place where I hung out with my family, friends, swim buddies, swim squad and swim club.
Marathon swims
Two of the biggest swimming challenges were my attempts on Lake Wanaka.
When I embarked on the training to swim Lake Wanaka I had only ever swum 3.8km in open water at one time. I watched others swim long distances and I was in total awe of them.
I wondered if swimming the lake solo was a possibility after doing the relays in 2007 and 2017 but decided it wasn't possible for me because I just wasn't a good enough swimmer.
But, I knew I was better at endurance activities compared to shorter distances. I had already proved to myself that I definitely did better in longer events. I watched Roger North (Wanaka local), who wasn't from a swimming background get so close. Twice! He had ideas about currents etc. that I believe got in the way of his success. I decided if I could control for these as best as possible then maybe I could do it.
Once somebody completes a particular thing, be it a swim or some other physical activity originally deemed ‘not possible’, then I think it becomes a possibility in other people's minds. People know it is possible and therefore they can give it a try. That is the importance of what Roger was trying to do. It opened the possibility.
In 2017 I was diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure, dangerously high at diagnosis) and I wasn't able to train too hard until the meds kicked in and my blood pressure stabilised. I was still swimming a lot but just at a lower intensity, which proved to be great base training, as it turned out, when I decided to make an attempt at Lake Wanaka.
By the end of 2017 my blood pressure had stabilised and I was gutted that I had missed out on the summer events. I decided I wanted a lofty goal to attack. I worked out I had 13 weeks of hard training left if I wanted to attempt it at the end of summer. So I set the date as the end of March 2018 and I got straight into training. I thought the end of March was still going to be warm enough but that was a big mistake. Unfortunately the water was only 8°C at the head of the lake at the Makarora end where I started and it only warmed up to 15°C during the day. So that attempt didn’t work out! Thankfully, my second attempt on January 18th 2019 was successful. I became the first person to successfully swim the length of Lake Wanaka.
Serious
Back in 2018, on my first attempt at Lake Wanaka, I didn't even contemplate the thought of doing it without a wetsuit. When we did the relays of the lake in 2007 and 2017 we all wore wetsuits. The goal of the relays and then both my attempt, and then completion of being the first person to swim Lake Wanaka, was to raise money for a charity I had set up to provide subsidised counselling for children and their families in the Upper Clutha region.
I think the concept of swimming the lake without a wetsuit probably came about once the lake started showing signs of warming during 2021-2023. Two Australian women attempted to swim it without wetsuits in 2020 but pulled out within a couple of hours due to the cold.
The first person to swim Lake Wanaka with no wetsuit was another Wanaka local Camille Gullick on the 16th Feb 2023, and then two weeks later, Rebecca Hollingsworth did again but in a faster time.
There was meant to be a ‘no wetsuit’ attempt on it this last season (2023/24) by Jackson Arlidge but the attempt didn’t go ahead as it was too cold. (Cameron Stanley was the first male, and current fastest time holder, to complete the Lake on 13th Feb 2020, but with a wetsuit.)
The reason more people don't do it in a wetsuit is because wetsuits are not allowed under Marathon Swimming Rules. But still it’s an amazing achievement.
"It's not about the outcome, it's about the process. Focus on the process and the outcome will happen"
Apart from the cold water, especially the water coming from the Makarora River at the start point, there is no reason why more people couldn't complete the lake without a wetsuit. The distance is only just more than Lake Taupo which has had a huge number of people swim it. The faster someone swims, the shorter amount of time they are in the cold water and hence more likely to complete the swim, obviously.
But the main factor for me was definitely determination.
Physically it hurts to swim that distance, but what kept me going was the sense of purpose I felt with raising money and the sense of community I had around me.
Swimming is such a solitary sport when you're out there in a huge body of water and it's only you that can do it. I was never one for team sports because I worry that either I'm not pulling my weight, or I'm critical that others aren't pulling theirs. Growing up in competitive swimming I had a mantra that "you can't control what others do, you can only control what you do". I couldn't determine how fast the other swimmers would swim, but I could control how fast I swam or whether I pushed off streamlined or whatever else was in my control.
However, with all my long distance swims I have had great support crews. Without those wonderful people I could not have completed the swims. I'm not talking about the physical things they did, such as getting my feeds ready and giving them to me (although that was vital), I'm talking about the psychological part they played. They knew just what to say, even if it wasn't necessarily what I wanted to hear.
The support from the community was also very important and my support crew would always update me with messages or the total we had raised so far which would spur me on. The swim was bigger than just me. It was about raising money for the community and it was them, along with my support crew, that kept me going during the many times I wanted to quit.
Unfortunately in my first attempt in 2018 no amount of determination was going to get me to the finish. It was too cold for me even in a wetsuit. About 8 km from the end my son, Finn, asked me some questions to determine my level of hypothermia and it was deemed by both him and the safety crew that they needed to get me out and to safety. That ended with me in an ambulance and whisked off to Wanaka Medical Centre where I was discharged later that evening once I had warmed up.
I was asked in the following weeks how I felt about the fact that I had failed to reach my goal. I don't believe in failure and see every attempt at striving for something as a lesson and use it as learning.
I set out with my goal to swim the length of the lake to raise money for the charity. I achieved this as I raised $10,000 on the swim. So I definitely felt I had reached my goal.
I vowed following this swim that I wasn't trying again due to how hard mentally I had found it. But after a few months I changed my mind and decided to go for it again. I learnt a lot from that first attempt including attempting the swim during the height of summer when the lake would be warmer, not at the end of it. My second and successful attempt was January 2019 and once again I had an amazing support crew and the community really got behind me again.
While I was swimming I wrote part of a poem in my head and crazily enough I still remembered it the next day. I wrote it down and added the end parts. It sums up my second attempt.
The Lake {25.01.2019}
Feet touch the sand, Grounding her in reality. It’s the beginning of something amazing. 3-2-1 coming, ready or not. Pushing off, she immerses herself in the inky blackness. Realisation of what is ahead. The first few strokes, she becomes aware. Just accept what is and go with it. Wind coming in unexpected direction. Not concerning her, she can manage it, This is what she’s trained for. Her resilience will shine to the fore. Her teammates sharing her quest, Camaraderie of fishing connects them. Appearing to always utter the right words, Urging her through her darkness. Surprise of friends joining her in the waves. Look like dolphins, playing beside her, In the maelstrom of waves. Testing her resilience, causing a battle. She enters a dark hole, searching for sunbeams. Broken up as they enter the water. Appearing beneath her like a broken mirror, Reflecting the light back towards her. Moving fast now, flying past the beacon, Joined by her teammates. Scores of flashing lights and horns tooting. The triumphant cries on shore. Well-wishers galore, bright lights dazzling. Contrasts with the darkness below. Feet touch the sand, Grounding her in reality.
Following my successful 2019 Lake Wanaka swim, which was the first time Lake Wanaka had been swum end to end, I took my wetsuit off and have hardly put it on since. This led to both the ‘ice swimming’, which I have become involved in, and my Lake Dunstan swim.
Lake Dunstan
Lake Dunstan swim: this was my first attempt at a long swim without a wetsuit and completely under Marathon Swim Rules. The only attire you are allowed is togs, silicon cap, goggles, and ear plugs, and the only outside support is having a boat beside you, and a support crew handing you your food and drink.
I chose Lake Dunstan because I thought it would be warmer than Lake Hawea and it is also not so formidable. I wanted something that I felt was achievable. Difficult but attainable. I also thought it would be more enjoyable and scenic, with swimming close to the cliffs along the Cromwell Gorge.
However I didn't see much when I entered the gorge as I was in a dark headspace and it used all my perseverance (and my crew's) to keep me going.
The day started out sunny but cool. I was hoping to get away by 8am but also wanted to start once the sun was hitting the lake so it could warm me. I didn't want to start out cold. However by 9am I had to make the call to just get going as I knew the sun wasn't far away. The water was 16 degrees in the river where I entered and by my first feed after 30 minutes, I already had the claw in both hands, and was already questioning how I was going to make it. My swimming also didn't feel strong but after 1 1/2 hours my swimming felt better and the lake was slowly warming up. It warmed up to 19 degrees during the day.
The first 14km was idyllic until I got to the bridge at Cromwell. However, as I entered the gorge the wind turned on me and came up Southerly. I had vowed in the weeks prior to the swim that I wasn't going to swim it if it was southerly forecast. Unfortunately it was forecast but I made the decision to go ahead because all my support crew were available and I was ready to go. So for the remainder of the swim I was heading into the wind.
This really messed with my head and I wanted to get out. My crew kept me going telling me if I wanted to get out I could swim to my support crew on the shore, just 1 km away. They joked, soothed, cajoled, and just kept me going. I threw my bottle at the boat and kept swimming. It was a very tough day and I really wouldn't have made it without the support of the crew and the community who were donating money throughout my swim.
My thoughts and feelings
The actual moment I start a long significant swim I have small doubts as to whether I can do it. I am also at the same time quite excited and am thinking of how elated I will feel at the finish. As I am getting in I am always thinking about the cold and wondering how I will handle the temperature. I am itching to get going and just want to get started. I want to see if I can handle this task I have set myself. I am confident I have done the training, although there is a small question of "have I really done enough?" which goes through my head. And then as I take the first few strokes I think "Fuck, what am I doing?" Same every time.
During the swim I concentrate a lot on my stroke rate and technique and also watching my support crew to see if they are conveying anything to me about the swim. I also have negative thoughts/questions come into my head around
"When is the next damn feed?"
"Surely it must be 30 minutes already."
"Am I getting cold?"
"Can I keep going?"
And in Lake Dunstan when the wind came up, "Can I convince my support crew to get me out?"
I try to enjoy the scenery and what I am seeing under the water as much as possible to try and get as much enjoyment out of it as I can.
I like to have little laughs with my support crew as this helps to boost my mood.
I like the support boat to be as close as possible because it scares the bejesus out of me to think I'm out there alone.
When my arms start to get tired I start having small doubts as to whether I can keep going. However, I am fairly confident that I can.
I had a moment during my first attempt on Lake Wanaka where I doubted if I was even moving forward. I was about 15km into the swim and any landmarks are far away in the distance. Every time I breathed to the side I felt like the mountains were in the exact same place and that I wasn't moving.
When I stopped for a feed I asked my son who was on the kayak beside me, "Am I even moving?" His reply "Are your arms going around? Then you're moving." Finn has always been on my support crew and I wouldn't have it any other way. He was the one who asked me the safety questions when I was becoming hypothermic during my first Lake Wanaka attempt. He relayed back to the safety person on my crew that I was taking a long time to answer and was getting some answers wrong and that’s how it was determined it was time for me to get out.
Approaching Colder Climes
In 2019 after my completed Lake Wanaka swim, I decided to take my wetsuit off and try swimming in just togs. This became my new challenge. Since then I have hardly swum in my wetsuit and have even started ice swimming. This is a huge test of my resilience and perseverance because I don't actually deal with the cold well.
Some of my swim buddies laugh at me as I shiver so much they have to hold my warm drink for me or I spill it all over myself. Despite this I have swum my Ice Mile in 2023 at the Blue Lake in St Bathans and I continue to swim sans wetsuit in the Dunedin Harbour as that is where I am living. The current temperature as I write this is down to 7 degrees.
I limit myself these days to around 10-15 minutes in that temperature as I know I can't handle any longer. I get very bad cold shock and also icecream headache which is the hardest thing to handle when getting into the water. It takes a few minutes before this subsides and then I'm okay. However the whole time I'm swimming the pain in my hands and feet is pretty intense, but it's just another challenge to overcome.
Back to Dunedin and coming up to date
Starting to swim in Dunedin harbour, has been a huge trial in itself. I am very scared of the sea life that might be there so this has been challenging to overcome. I have surprised myself with how I have been managing and I do wonder if it is because I am having to be so mindful of how my body is feeling in the cold water so I don't have so much time to think about what I might be swimming with. I only swim with others.
For me, open water swimming is about the camaraderie and social connection I get from swimming with other people. Swimming is where I have made almost all my friends, and this isn't surprising seeing I spend so much time doing it.
In the freshwater lakes I will swim on my own, but only close to the edge so if anything goes wrong I am able to get out. In the harbour I will only swim with other people as I am too scared of the sea life. I still stay close to the edge in the harbour and I'm not far away from being able to just stand up if I need to.
Strengthening
Life has brought its challenges along with it, as it does for all people. One way I have found to tackle these trials is using swimming as a tool. Challenging myself through swimming and then conquering these challenges, proves to me in other areas of my life that I can also overcome tests that come my way. I'm not consciously thinking this when I am faced with a challenge, it is fairly subconscious. But I believe overcoming the tests in swimming is like strengthening a muscle in my mind ( or soul).
"Progress not perfection"
Fantastic read, thanks for sharing Fi! I've always been so inspired by you and your swimming <3
Thank you Fi for a window into your soul. You are an awesome person and a great inspiration for us all. Very happy you joined us in Dunedin. See you at Macandrew Bay 😃.